whitepeopletwitter:

Probably Tenured

babyferaligator:

doritoed:

born to be mild

*mediocre guitar solo*

octibbles:

preciouspuddingnovice:

straightgirl:

i love medieval art it’s like

first there’s a bull just shittin on this guy

gremlin dude shooting arrows into a mermaids ass ok

someone fuckin boneless dancing to this hot violin song what

my favorite one a bunch of amputees beating the shit outta each other with crutches

idk why they call it the dark ages when they’re obviously so fun

indeed

My personal favorite is the nun harvesting dicks

thebootydiaries:

Friend: why are you crying?

Me: I’m just so beautiful

codeinewarrior:

me: hey can i have some money?

bank teller: do you have an account with us?

me: nah i just heard yall got money

daily-showerthoughts:

In horror movies you always summon demons by speaking latin. This is probably why it’s a dead language, it fucking killed everyone that spoke it

jasper-rolls:

iwashinaga:

jasper-rolls:

bone healing juice

milk

blocked

Boy am I in the mood for some bone healing juice and cookies

sanerontheinside:

hamster-run-faster:

northernwinedregs:

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

did you do the thing with lying unconscious for 8 hours

……… fuck.